I can’t begin to tell you how important it was to spend time alone with God in this process. I spent time writing in my journal, reading daily devotionals, praying, and worshiping God inviting his presence into every area of my life. I would read scriptures to give me strength and I would journal my emotions of that day. I would pray and talk to God before, during, and after my surgeries, treatments, and countless MRIs even now in the present day. That was the only way I could get through the scans and keep my mind focused on something else other than the tunnel my body was in. I worshipped God by listening to music that minimized my doubts, anxiety, fear, and frustration about what was going on in my life. Despite what I had going on with my health at the time, my concerns were still on what other things I had going on.
Even now, I am reminded that Christ is in the midst of every chaotic situation that occurs in my life. Whether I can see him in it or not, I know he is omnipresent and surrounds me everywhere that I may go. Sometimes we question if God is aware of our present circumstances or if he even cares. He wouldn't allow it to happen to us, if he didn't think we were capable enough to take on all that comes with it.
In life, we must learn to pause and be still. When we are still that's when God speaks. The sweet whispers flow right to us. Psalm 46:10 tells us to "Be still and know that I am God."
We must learn to let go of those things that may be holding us captive. Somethings are too heavy to bear and we feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. In facing any obstacle in life, we have to invite the Holy Spirit into our situation and speak peace over it. Take ahold of the negative thoughts and energy keeping you from going where God wants you to be. Even in our sickness, we can still be a blessing to others. Be intentional and live a life of purpose. Continue to fill your spirit with positivity whether it be through praise and worship or listening to a T.D Jakes or Joyce Meyer sermon. I often see the surprised faces when asked what's my favorite song right now. Honestly, my spirit is so honed in on my walk and making sure what I am doing is pleasing unto him, that I seldom know who's singing what song on the radio these days. Old soul? Maybe so, but it works for me. Lastly, to remain in this positive space while inviting Christ in the midst of my chaos, I prayed. Praying specifically without ceasing!!! Praying is just having a conversation with God, it can be as natural as breathing. His name is powerful beyond measure. Add prayer to your daily routine, invite him into your weak moments and your strong moments, and lastly, don't give up on him. He left the 99 for the 1, that 1 maybe you. He will meet you exactly where you are. He is a forgiving God who understands our hurt and pain in these vulnerable moments but his word says he will never leave us nor forsake us. Don't give up on him because he surely will not give up on you.