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  • Writer's pictureSimone Coleman

Elevation Requires Separation

I recently asked myself is it necessary to separate myself from my circle? This topic was a challenge for me in my journey and even today but in a different arena. In my journey, I had negative individuals or individuals who pressed questions I didn’t feel led to answer. Harsh?? Maybe but those who have never faced an obstacle of this magnitude are not always empathetic realistically. There were loved ones I may not have wanted to see due to the uncomfortability of the friendships or relationships being on shaky grounds. When ready, I would allow additional individuals in my safe space when I was comfortable. This isn’t always an easy task, as some persons aren’t willing to accept the word “No” or “Now isn’t a good time”. If you’re like me in the process, you don’t want to turn people away because you fear letting others down. However, I learned new ways to implement “No” without the need to provide further explanation during my crisis.

Similar concept applies to those aftermath events when life picks up and invites to events are rolling in for the break of summer and traveling season is in for trips. I’ve had to learn to navigate that same concept through increase work responsibilities, my awareness of rest, and my awareness of my time spent with those who appreciate it. I ask, are these individuals pouring into me? Am I pouring into them? How have I matured since knowing this person? Am I comfortable in my own skin around this person? Do I feel pressured to be anyone outside of the person God created me to be? Any hesitance or questions allow me to reevaluate my circle of friends and relationships. An accountable friend recently challenged me to write out my list of friends and the written explanation of why we are friends to begin with? Sounds much easier than it seems. You should try it ! Hence, my purpose friend challenged me to really think back and examine the friendships for all that they were/are.

As I continue to press towards my goals and walk in my God given purpose, it becomes a challenge to let go of the old friends, old habits, etc. that don’t mean well and/or may not be walking in the same path. A wise elder once told me, sometimes when you’re so focused and in tune with God that elevation in Christ can also mean walking alone. Not everyone is meant to be along for your journey and some may not be in your life more than a season. Whew! Tough pill to swallow!! My heart of compassion is working through that component of the hard knock life but if I trust God and believe his very best for me, I obey and seek the reward he has set aside just for me.

I view my relationship with my Heavenly Father as one I cherish and a friendship. In sharing my deepest concerns, I too share my dreams, goals, and hearts desires. The mind may say, stick it out it’ll get better but the heart knows that it’s time to move on from that chapter or person. In this current season of reviving and thriving- this is a topic I’ve learned and continued to learn (sometimes even the hard way). It’s not an easy task especially the stronger my relationship grows in Christ.

I leave you with some key takeaways: Be careful about who has access to you. Not so much out of selfishness but the need to continue to protect your space, peace, and energy as you continue to do the work to elevate self. This chapter of life isn’t an easy one and will require heart work. I promise once you change your environment you will see much growth!!

Self evaluation: Do you face challenges with people you’ve built a steady friendship with? How do you view the relationship now? Was it easy to cease all communications or do you check in from time to time?

Appreciate your now. Love where you are today and learn from it !

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